So here we are, into Fall now.  I turned on the furnace yesterday, though I wish I had bought wood this year as this is the time of year we should be burning the logs in the evening.  The years we've done that we've been able to heat entirely by wood until December.  Oh well.  Whenever I can ever get my finances back on track I'll be buying cords of wood again.  It would be nice to have a high efficiency wood stove though; again requires more money.

I have a wish list:  for the house, solar panels with battery backup capability for black-outs, tied to the grid so my bill is mostly paid.  For the garage, a solar self-contained system for heating, lighting, and the power required to run office machines and an internet radio station with recording booth.

To repave the driveway; to waterproof the foundation of the house; to have some sort of a fence so the church next door will stop doing stuff like piling old toilet pipes behind their shed (which borders on our lawn) and also to stop people from cutting through the yard and the church from piling snow on our lawn so it melts into our basement in the spring.  Most importantly though, I'd like to keep the animals in the yard.

Hmm.  Hydro One just left a message.  I have a $660 hydro bill that was due Sept. 23rd.  I'm going to have to pay that (with what I'm not sure because I budget for about $250) before they cut me off.  I'm hoping that damned security deposit will stop them from doing that but I'm not sure.  Why is it that the electricity, one of life's most essential utilities can get away with giving people less than a month to pay and then less than a couple of weeks after that before they can cut you off?  It doesn't make sense.  I am owed my acting pay, and I think still some back pay so hopefully that will come in before the threateninig letter does (this is important because if they've mailed one of those then the security deposit is pretty much lost forever instead of being returned next April).  Anyway, I need to see about a better hydro plan - I think my current one is up next month.  Actually, I'll look into that this evening - part of my problem with this is that the plan I signed up with 5 years ago had rates that looked okay (since I had just moved from Mississauga) and later when I realized I was paying more than the local hydro rates there was nothing I could do about it.  Now there is I hope.  Plus, when the air conditioner is done being paid for (9 months), I'll be looking at solar to at least reduce the costs and do the power back up thing.

Okay, well not much else to say.  I got 75% on TME1 in my university course, am working towards finishing the modules for TME2, TME3 is a written project with research but the modules behind that portion is just reading, then the exam.  Here's hoping I don't have to do the final extension, I really do want this course done before the end of the year.

Sadly it means I will likely not be doing Nanowrimo this year; between the project I'm on, my course, cleaning at night, work, after school stuff like Air Cadets, etc., etc., I don't think I have any time anywhere to do that.  Sigh.

I will, however, see if I can enter something in the CBC Radio Short Story competition.  Maybe.  On other matters related to writing, nobody has bought my book other than the two that are recorded as sold - which brings a question.  Why, if on all the Amazon sites there are used copies of my book, some at very inflated prices, am I not receiving or even notified of any sales for the supposed already sold copies?  Who are these resellers and what are they reselling if they haven't bought any copies?  I befuddles me.  I'm contemplating a paperback and Kindle version of it but right now I'm wondering if I'd just be throwing extra time at something no one will ever read anyway.

I haven't lost hope though.  There is still Off Air, which for all intents and purposes is a very good book I think.  I just don't have the oomph to continue editing if it's pointless.  Add to that my best editor got married and I haven't heard from him in months, well, I don't know.  Somebody out there please tell me it is worth my while to continue publishing my writing, I feel like a hampster on a wheel these days.

Well, gotta get son from school (it's my compressed day) - more later,

Cathi

 

LOL, no, I feel like I've hit the ground from a huge height a few times.  Since my last posting in February (!) there's been a lot going on as you can well imagine.  The most recent thing is going into a partnership with 3 other people (1 being Jim) to do an online business that is a combination of a subscription newsletter, podcasting, and will include other interesting things like a form of dating service that I won't go into too much detail on at the moment.  The idea of that service is kind of unique and is for like-minded individuals but like all things, this does take a lot of time to get off the ground which except for one partner, the rest of us don't have much of at the moment. 

We've done two podcasts, one with Robert Burnett (one of the partners) who is originally from Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe) and has a fascinating take on Robert Mugabe and things like vile vortexes and UFOs.  He is also a very gifted psychic and it's been interesting being around him while he cleared a haunted building and described who it was that was haunting it.  He lives in England but is working on being a permanent resident of Canada to be with his twin flame Vicki.  Vicki is also a partner.

The other podcast is the illustrius (ahem) Geneve Blue, author of I Ching Jukebox, which is now available from Amazon worldwide as well as Barnes & Noble and on Lulu.com where is also available as a PDF download.  On Amazon the look inside feature is active so people interested in taking a peek can go there.  Now if the title of this book sounds oddly familiar, that's because I've been talking about it here for a few years.  That's actually my own novel that I did for Nanowrimo one year and did a fair bit of editting to make it into what I've been told is a book that is touching and interesting with characters that seem real.  On the Amazon.com site is a very nice review that was put up.  To date it has only sold two copies, so I would dearly love it if people could purchase a copy (even the PDF, which is a lot cheaper than the paper version) and post their impressions.  The reason why I decided not to publish it under my own name, like my other book "Off Air" that is in editing right now is because of the subject matter, language and some of the incidents that occur would be offensive to some people in my family so I thought it was better just to use a pseudonom and just not talk about it.  I'm proud of this book, it is the sort of thing I like to read so I didn't want to leave it in a drawer gathering dust waiting for a time people wouldn't be offended.  That won't happen, so there it is out there for the world to see.

Now, about the podcasts, if you go to http://www.indigostarcrystalradio.info/podcasts.html they are both there (you may have to scroll over on the page a bit, I noticed the left table is too large - I'll fix that).  On my Geneve Blue podcast I'm reading part of Chapter 2.

Other than that, son did very well this year getting up to level 6 in swimming and step 4 in downhill skiing and is now back in gym class which he really enjoyed and did well in.  Quite a pleasant change from last year!  He does however need to take a couple of medications to help deal with anxiety (that I personally believes comes from trying to not act out when stressed and instead comes out physically) and for migraines.  I worry though of the possibility that these reactions may actually be a mild form of seizure which is a 30% possibility for Asperger's people.  However, since the medication does seem to be helping, we're just keeping an eye out for changes. Anyway, things are looking up for my (not so little) guy.

Daughter had a very full year catching up on missed school due to their move to my area, but catch up she did and she is now accepted in Ottawa U for the BScN program, in a collaborative program campus nearby.  We are all very happy for her, and since where the campus is is a bit of drive (and she doesn't have her license yet or a car) from me, she decided to live in the town.  Also, it gives her a chance to truly be an adult on her own - which she is, she just turned 18! - and thankfully she found a very nice place to live which is great.  She also has a very nice boyfriend and it's been wonderful to see all the good changes she's had this year.

I've been very busy with work and still doing that damned night cleaning but there is hope on the horizon if the new project I was assigned to offers more money for the duration.  I've been working very hard on it and doing overtime to try to keep up, but I'm afraid if it isn't more money I may have to bow out.  I hope not because I do believe I can make a difference but I can't keep up this pace if I have to still be cleaning at night.  It's been very tiring and will be nearly impossible come the start of school and all those after school activities for son.  So, keeping fingers crossed I'll be hearing something about that soon.

On the bright side of this is that ex, since moving here, has had quite a few more jobs to apply to - one looks particularly hopeful so again keeping fingers crossed.  That will help me out as well since there's things I pay for that would like to hand over to him.

It's been a expensive last few months with school stuff and graduations, etc., so unfortunately I hit the wall with one of my biggest bills which is the accursed cell phones.  5 cell phones is a rather big bill every month, and I paid part of the bill, intended to pay the rest and then the next pay do the next bill but Rogers wouldn't accept that so told me pay up for that month and the current month or be disconnected.  We were, and now I have to pay all that plus the next month to get them back.  My only hope on that is back pay, but after being such a good customer for so long, this really leaves a bad taste in my mouth (can we say extortion?) and I am now considering paying their horrendous cancellation fees just to never have to deal with them again.  I'm not sure how they figure getting someone to pay 3 months worth of bills for a late month is going to make someone who is having difficulty pay up.  Doesn't quite make sense.  Anyway, considering 35 kms of my drive is in the country I worry about car break downs with no place close by to walk to so I will do something, even if it's a pay as you go phone with somebody else.

Similarly, after my fiasco with the carpenter friend last year and Hydro One, I was hit by an out of the blue $400 security deposit last April (months after the problems) due to my bad year and again, that to me is extortion.  They seem to be almost determined to cut people's electricity off, and since it is an essential utlity and the only game in town, I still can't believe the provincial government has done nothing to protect their citizens from this type of behaviour from a company that charges very ridiculous rates, including a fee every month to pay off the debt of its previous incarnation.  I swear that as soon as finances are straightened out I will be installing solar panels.  It can't happen soon enough.

Anyway, regardless of the money issues, things are definitely brighter than they were this time last year and there are even more happy things to look forward to, so I'm doing just that.

And that's it for me, and a promise I will make the effort to keep this updated sooner...

Cathi

Wow, I've updated my web site a few times and assorted other blogs, but have sadly neglected this one.  A lot has happened since the October election and I suppose I could have put in my two cents worth but really, politics (with the exception of the wonderful election of Barak Obama in the US) has gotten pretty crazy nearly everywhere.  But then, the world has gotten crazy.  I've been loving the gas prices going down (here to about 60 cents a litre) but sadly it's going up again - the stations I passed by had 82.5 cents.  Still, it's much better than $1.40!

Our silly election resulted in the Conservatives coming back in, then a coalition between the parties that combined have a majority but individually weren't enough wound up being nothing after Parliament was prorogued (i.e. suspended for a while) and during that time the world had an economic meltdown.  In the US, the amazing election of Obama and the flurry of changes that were signed in during the days after inaugruation is refreshing if a bit mind boggling.  In Canada, our own budget (which likely will be passed this week) is radically different from previous ones.  Will it help?  I don't know but if it means that the government will put their foot down on horrendous interest rates that credit card companies can charge here (25% anybody?) that would be good.  I read the budget, didn't see anything that specifically said they would curb that, but a new financial overseeing officer (or something like that) may offer some hope.

Little guy is having a stellar year, signing up for swimming, taking level 2 then next term saying that's too easy can you test me?  And being put in level 5.  So far so good, and he is really trying in sports, so much so that he is going back into gym class at school this term.  His determination is strong and he is understanding a little better the importance of rules and following direction in sports and so now he is in skiing (and doing very well!) and trying out for the basketball team.  That's a who knows thing (after all there are tryouts and they pick the best so if he's not in well, he should practice over the summer if he's interested in being on the team and doesn't make it this time around).  A very good year for him on many fronts and we're all very proud of how well he's doing overall. 

Also in big news was the sale of the house in Mississauga and the move of daughter and dad to Ottawa in November.  We were fortunate - the house sold days before the crash and prices of houses falling in the area.  While there were legal issues that meant there wasn't much left over in terms of profit on the sale, it was enough for dad to get a fresh start and me, well, to pay a couple of bills.  Someday I hope to get my full portion but that's a lesser issue than the fact that we are finally close together geographically.  I was busy helping them do that - while dad and daughter were packing and painting and dealing with potential buyers, I was hunting down a place for them to rent (and in a very short time frame, the closing date was less than a month from the acceptance) and once I found a place I was pretty sure they'd like, was the inbetween for the paperwork for ex and agent, then went down to Mississauga for the last few days to help pack and sign papers and stuff.  That was a month!
They are very happy with the place I found though, so that's good.

What wasn't good was that shortly after they got here and daughter was accepted into a school that wasn't on a semestered system (like her old school), the busses here went on strike.  For 51 days.  No car and daughter's school was on the other side of the city.  She took taxis for the first couple of weeks of the strike but thankfully her aunt stepped in and has been driving her.

For me, it's been a world of book publishing and editing.  I Ching Jukebox is up on Lulu.com as a hardback and a pdf download and will be up on CafePress as a Canadian edition paperback (written by Genève Blue) and my poetry book that is currently on CafePress as a paperback will be on Lulu as a hardback and pdf shortly.  I Ching Jukebox will also be distributed through Amazon.com soon - the formatting is tricky and there's one more fix that needs to be done before it'll be acceptible for them (the Lulu hardcover version is good though so if anyone wants to get that it's okay to read - it's a slight difference between the size of the margins that is the problem).  Two people have read it and told me they really enjoyed it, so maybe this little novel is going to do well.  The one I'm editing now though is called Off Air and that is one story that I think is really special and one that I think others will agree too.  I am my own worst critic I think but that's good, that means what will eventually be for sale will be worth the wait I hope.

I've started another university course finally - Operating System Concepts (it's the hardware end of things) so that's a hopeful thing too.

And a happy thing:  while little guy isn't taking piano anymore as of the end of December, the reason is wonderful.  A very big congratulations to Scott and Heather on being given permission to marry and for Scott that meant a move to the US.  We wish you all the best and little guy thinks taking drums and then guitar are going to be his next musical forays, which should be interesting .

There's more I could write about but I think I've tired everyone's eyeballs enough, so that's it for now.

It's been a busy but thankfully relatively quiet couple of months.  I did do an update on my website, but I figured it was time to update here too.  So let's see.

School so far has been pretty good for little guy, no major incidents (knock on wood) so far, and for that I am very thankful.  He pleaded to take swimming lessons again - he swims in the summer at his grandmother's cottage - and wanted to so badly he loaned me part of the fee from his allowance so we could pay for it.  He has also had a major accomplishment in that he has finally learned to ride a bike!  His wonderful worker helped him with this and he practiced practiced practiced until he could do it.  Now all we need to do is keep checking Freecycle for a bike being offered that's more his size than the garage sale one we had bought a couple of years ago.

Genève Blue's book "I Ching Jukebox" is now editted and up for sale on Lulu.com; it will shortly be available through Amazon.com once I approve the proof copy.  I'm going to be editting "Off Air" shortly.  That is book that I am very proud of and hope it will do well.

As for money, well, yes that's still a problem.  The fellow I'd been renting the garage to I had to tell him he couldn't use it any more after the huge hydro bill I couldn't pay; I came right down to the last possible day before my electricity was cut off and that was tremendously scary - I did get help but not from him.  I'm not holding my breath on the $1250 he still owes me for electricity.  My other source of frustration in terms of people owing me money should be solved soon so I am hopeful on that account.  I'm still cleaning at night and am still having trouble because of these bills I was helping other people out but now that the well is dry (I had to cash everything I had in this year to deal with this) they're just going to have to look elsewhere while we build back our finances again.  I won't be so helpful in future I'm sorry to say; I don't like to be mean but when it came down to literally days before I lost power, well that was too much.  There's no reason for me to be in this situation and with the prices of everything skyrocketing - I hope I can fix the mess this helping has caused me.  I really do.  One of the fears I had, which was that they wouldn't renew my mortgage, didn't come to pass.  It was renewed and though I had to take the variable rate option because my 5 year fixed rate had gone way up, at the moment this is to my advantage since the rates are being cut due to the huge economic crisis around the world.  One thing has worked in my favour at least

The house in Mississauga is finally up for sale.  Soon I hope daughter will be close by, but not with me like I hoped.  She still feels it better for her dad to stay with him.  I guess she has a point, though for us it will always be a little sad she isn't with us.  I've missed the bulk of her teenage years and her brother has missed all that sisterly day to day stuff, but that was the path we followed and life moves on.  I prefer to look forward, always.  There is no point in looking behind, the past is done and that's all there is to it.

There's been a lot of breakups of couples I know but thankfully we're still doing fine and that's nice.

I haven't much else to say except that I honestly hope people in my riding don't vote the incumbent in.  She is arrogantly assuming she'll just get back in, avoiding public debates and public appearances.  I don't know if she's under a gag order by her very controlling party and I don't really care, I just really hope people here use their heads when they vote this time.  But I am just one voice in a very big wilderness.

As I watch the rest of this year wind down I watch the world in turmoil.  Are we on the precipice of a major change for the better or are we on the verge of a change for the worst?  Only time will tell.

And now with that, it's time to make lunches. 

More later,
Cathi

 

Okay, where to start.  I guess where I left off is the best thing.  The good news is I passed my written French so now I have my level BBB, which means I can apply to bilingual jobs.  What is interesting is I saw a job in Cornwall, 100 km south east of Ottawa that is a PG-4 and is with a very interesting Department.  I asked Jim, is there a branch of where you work there?  He asked his boss and yes, there is, and they hire full time people with benefits - it's a larger office.  So I looked at houses with land (a couple of acres) between there and Ottawa and found quite a few nice ones for less than what my house is worth.  Hmm.  So I applied.  I'm not sure I'll get an interview or even take the job if it were offered, but there are some awfully nice places half way between Ottawa and there though the temptation would be to live there and be close to work and on the Saint Lawrence Seaway, which is a beautiful area.  So we'll see.  There would be good and bad things about that.

I haven't posted as I was trying very hard to finish my university course without having to extend it again since I can't afford it.  I did, two weeks early, and I got an A.  I'm very happy with that; it was an interesting course and after a year of exams and tests it was nice to do something that involved a lot of reading and research and writing of 3000 - 4000 word essays.  I love to write, even if it is a research paper.

With our Talerocker~Dreamcat Creations endeavour I recently filmed a talk by Regina Heringa and Robert Burnett (Rob is a friend of ours).  Jim did too but on his own for potential showing on our local tv station.  I took the film I did, and have editted out the Robert portion and further editted it into clips that are now up on You Tube.  You can see the clips (there's 12 of them) at http://www.youtube.com/talerockerdreamcat .  Our company so far has brought in $65, lol, nothing near covering our time and expenses but it is fun.  Unfortunately we just haven't had the time to really do everything we plan to do, but on the other hand, since we aren't getting paid in advance for anything there is a very big limit on what we can do.  I am suffering from my generousity greatly lately, and hoping that the end is soon in sight for money owed to me.

I hated to do it, but our friend we were helping by renting out our garage for woodworking I had to stay stop because my hydro bills were huge, more than I could cope with.  I used my tax refund, the rest of my RRSP and the few stocks I had to pay them and I am still coping with $1000 to pay.  My bill is normally about $200 so obviously I couldn't keep this up.  I feel bad, this was meant to help us all out, but with only a small portion of what is owed given to me, I couldn't keep having that happen.

I'm almost at that point with the cell phones too, since I never intended to be paying for 5, but fortunately the house in Mississauga will soon be sold and a lot of the debt I've been incurring helping people I'll be able to pay off.  It would be nice if I could use that for myself, since it should be mine to better my life, not cover off helping other people but what can you do.  It'll be part of a clean slate anyway.

I was worried about my mortgage renewal this month since of course trying to cope with this situation has harmed my credit rating, but it was offered at least, though while I thought I would be paying less (you normally are), the rates offered where much higher than what they should be.  One option that did offer the lower rate I was expecting was the variable interest one.  I've shied away from those in the past since that is a huge risk if interest rates shoot up, but, given the locked in rates were already huge, I don't think that they will get that high between now and the 3 year point when I can lock it in if I want.  Plus, the house will be sold by then and I'll be better able to handle it. 

Things are looking up, I just have to be patient and not worry so much.  It's hard, but when I think of the hours I've spent cleaning an office building in the evening, meant to be temporary but looking like I'll have to keep doing it until I'm in a better position, it has also put in me a determination not to dismiss my abilities.  I have to start seriously doing what I do best and make money at it.  It's time.  Even if that means leaving a work place I enjoy being, I have my little family to think about.

Oh dear.  Little guy is not being dealt with well where he attends school, it has been an unpleasant year.  14 times sent home, 1 suspension, and me knowing that if he was given the supports he should for being a gifted Asperger's kid this wouldn't be the case, we're at a loss.  There are few schools that could really address his needs, though there is one in Ottawa but I can't afford to live there, not without being in an apartment or something like that and he and we need to be in a place where we can have our dog and cats and no worry of wall-neighbours complaining if he has a meltdown.  His dad moving to Ottawa might be the answer - we'll see.

So that's where I'm at.  I haven't signed up for a new university course yet, not while I have the fallout of the big bills to deal with, so I will get back to editting my books for publication.  Wish me luck on that, lol.

Let's see.  Today's headlines have to do with a Via Rail train quarantened in Northern Ontario (the Vancouver to Toronto run - it used to be called "The Canadian" and I've been on it 5 times and would do it another 5 times though it is now a luxury train I think).  There is a flu outbreak on it and one person has died.  Scary.

Next up, in downtown Toronto there is a measles outbreak.  Listen to me people.  As the mother of a child with an autistic spectrum disorder I can tell you that if you look at the studies, do some research on families and comorbidity with such things as OCD, manic depression, anxiety disorders and ASD, you will find there is a very strong genetic component, and a very weak measles vaccine link.  Please do not fear vaccinating yourself or your child against measles.  Death is NOT preferable over the faint unproven possibility of winding up with an autistic spectrum disorder.

I've started a Wordpress blog and set up a msySQL database on my computer so that I can run Comicpress.  All open souce, and pretty cool.  Plus I saw an ad for a programmer for this so I thought, hey, if I can put my comics up there, maybe start a new strip, then why not apply if it is still available as a contract work by the time I've got it up and running?  If not, well, it's still cool.  Oh, my Wordpress blog is at http://mrssauga.wordpress.com.  They're free and geared towards writers so you can see where I'm going with this idea as well .

I rewrote my written French exam on Wednesday.  How did I do?  I don't know, better I hope.  I sure the hell don't want to take it again.

The power of friends:  I was feeling somewhat depressed on Wednesday (yeah, good timing eh?) and nearly in tears while I answered a phone call by email (I do that a lot, I have an anxiety about telephones unless I know what I'm going to say.  You may or may not have known that).  Anyway, I poured my guts out and the answer was nice.  Yes, I will try to keep positive.  Yes I will not even think about the possible outcomes of things as a result of other people doing weird things to my credit rating based on long ago stuff, among other things.  And no, Jim is NOT the reason.  He is working two jobs like I am to deal with it.  Plus we have our business, though it is still in the red because of a couple small pieces of equipment we bought.  Hey, what can I say?  We've only brought in $60, but that is $60 for doing stuff we love doing.  And that's a good thing. Smile, Cathi.

LOL.  My friend Melissa is doing wonderfully these days, yay!  So is Scott and that's great too.  Cyndi, well, we're here for you, literally.  Poor thing stranded where we live for 8 weeks and now another 1.  Travelling is one thing, two months 500 km away from your family is another.  I do hope something works out soon for you guys.

I won't talk about Burma or the Olympic stuff.  Or the bees dying or wheat rust in Africa.  I won't.  It's Friday, it's time to smile, and that's exactly what I'm doing. 

There are days that I feel like crying from frustration, days that royally piss me off, days where I'm happy and content.  The last couple of weeks have been all of these, some in the same day.  Perimenopause?  LOL maybe, but more it's just, well, life.

My recent french exam turned out to be yet another friggin' A level (2 marks shy of a B which is what I need) and the astounding revelation that yes, telephone tutoring for written exams doesn't really work made me pretty angry.  After all, what is the point?  That was a waste of time.  I'm still trying to make sure that the year I spent doing this French training isn't wasted because one of the 3 Bs isn't. I'm just so very very frustrated because the difference between BBB and BBA is being able to apply for new jobs or not.  Almost all jobs now here in my beaucratic heaven are mandatory BBB so if you don't have it dear, you're stuck.  Unless you're a scientist or something techinical.  Which is where I guess being a computer scientist would definitely be better, though a good many of those jobs are B level as well.  So, again my personal desires, I am trying for the exam again, this time without bothering with the tutoring since I think it confused me more than helped me.  Oh well.

I've had the pleasure of a visit from Cyndi who was up here on business travel and it was great to spend an evening together again. 

For my birthday there was a new watch (not a fancy one but it's good to have second watch - my normal watch is a Timex Indiglo that's about 18 years old and I still love it), and a new cell phone. I got the Sony Eriksson W580i and it is a fun phone to have.  A little flimsy I think but we'll see, and when they transfered the SIM card everything on it was wiped out, but still, a neat phone.  A little more intuitive than the Nokias I've been using, and I'm enjoying the tracking feature that allows you to set a walking pace and then have it track your steps all day to see how far you've walked and also how many calories burned.  It's neat, and, if dog ever calms down enough to go for long walks or little jogs I can use that to see how far I've run as well.

Dog.  Dog is in obedience classes.  Dog is learning but so active he forgets.  So the command to stop him yanking my arm out of its socket when we walk ("Easy!") means he slows, sometimes stops and sits, I praise him and tell him "let's go" and ... he proceeds to yank my arm out again.  Eventually he'll get it but for now, it's a slow go and we only circle the house. 

So what else?  Talerocker~Dreamcat Creations is still in formation stages but we're thinking of things and setting up stuff so maybe soon we'll be transfering videos or albums for people, or helping with graphics or whatever and actually getting paid for it.  That'll be nice, but even if we do, to do our full vision means every cent goes back into equipment if we want to be really professional.

Other than that, not much else to say.  Little was supposed to start his ABC class on Saturday but it turned out it was at the wrong time so next fall I guess.  We're still looking for fun social type things he'd be interested in but right now, there's not much.  At least not in the time of year we have him.

Yesterday was the 13th anniversary of my dad's death, and I still miss him so much it hurts sometimes.  Like yesterday.  I was pretty weepy, but then I've been sick too with that bug that's going around.  Yes, there are some people in your life that you can talk to about anything, and he was one of the few that I could.  I really do miss him and his sense of humour. 

 

Again, oh well.  Beyond that, there's not much to say that won't get me in trouble for saying it so I'll stop now.

                                                                                                                                                  

LOL, and send me something wonderful.

Okay, it's Tuesday and feels like a Monday because yesterday was holiday.  Today I had my written French exam re-write at 8:15 and this time I made sure I had coffee before and spent time studying last night.  Jim was a sweetie and did my cleaning last night. 

The weekend was fun with friends over for a bit on Saturday (including a nice dinner of Chicken Jambalaya that I made in the crock pot) and doing some spirit stuff.  Jim and I also worked on the graphic design of a CD for Nextage Mission that will be sold online and at an upcoming event.  Jim will likely attend but I'll see about me going since I have such busy weekends coming up with dog going to obedience classes on Sunday mornings and little guy taking his ABC classes (this time architectural drawing) on Saturday.  The graphic design stuff and video editing us trying to officially be Talerocker-Dreamcat Creations.  The universe seems to have deemed me (or more likely I have allowed it) to be the bottomless source of money for people who can't pay me back so we are hoping that we will get some money from the graphics/video/audio stuff.  I just have to remember we keep all relevant receipts and put half away for taxes.  Here's Jim's page about us (literally!) on his web site:  http://www.aerendel.ca/aboutus.html .

So that that is officially it for the French training, I am back at concentrating on my computer science degree and getting my two books editted and out there.  My poetry book at Cafe Press has sold only two copies to people other than my family so I'm not sure what to do about that, except that I would love to buy some copies to sell at events; if I have my two novels published too, wouldn't that be worthwhile having a booth at the next Ottawa Authors book sale?  Hmmm.  You see, I so much want to be doing my creative stuff and not what isn't really very much appreciated and so I am determined to go that route.

Anyway, that's where things are with me.  Hope your Easter holiday was fun, and here's to a much anticipated spring.

 

We had 56 cm of snow over the weekend, bringing it to very nearly the record (which was 444 cm in 1970-71) for this area for snowfall in one winter, but it is possible that it could be broken.  There's still a bit of winter left.  Anyway, I remember that big snow year and on my facebook my profile picture is me as a girl, standing in front of a snowbank.  Right now, our snowbanks are nearly as  high, in fact the one beside the garage is almost touching the roof.

Right now I am afraid of what is going to happen when all this melts.  I suspect there will be a flooded basement.  But I'll keep my fingers crossed anyway.

Just finished my taxes and sent them in.  I'm going to be in trouble for a couple of overdue bills, but what can you do?  I've thought of cashing in more of my pitifully small RRSP but I'll keep my fingers crossed I don't need to.  Thing is, Jim lost hours these past few weeks because they moved the studio in town so he wasn't doing much.  He couldn't.  Aside from not working enough hours for benefits, that's another thing about working part time, and that's you're at the mercy of hourly wages with no sick, no vacations, no pay if you aren't working. 

Ah well.  It is March break, I'm working most of it, but the kids are happy at least and all small things (except Domino and the birds) liked all that snow.  Moe has his own web page on Jim's web site that features him after a whump into a snow bank (ha ha that's what happens when you ask to go out, Mr Orange cat!), and we have an increasingly large black dog who adores digging into the snow and diving into snow banks.  He is trying to teach me to cross country ski when I am walking him.  Unfortunately, that involves yanking me over ice and snow in my boots.  Obedience training starts on Sunday and some day soon, we hope this guy will have some manners.

Well, back to lunch.

It never rains but it pours.  I just missed getting a B level on my written so that means if I want to make this year of French training useful, I'm going to have to restudy and rewrite the written exam.  Shit.  There goes any illusions I had of getting a C level on this one I guess, and it also means it's pointless to rewrite the reading one that I missed C level by one point.

I am so sick of so many things right now, and these exams and this training is some of it.

Friday I realized a had enough room on one of my credit cards to get Jassper some training, after the $10 off coupon.  So, we did go to Kanata and sign him up.  Starting mid-March, we're going to be giving this dog some manners!  LOL

I also thought I could upgrade both Jim and my phones now since ours are falling apart, but on closer examination, it requires too much up front for me to do this, and not worry about how to pay for the cellular charges this month as well as my vehicle licence renewal and two shots for Moe, whose vaccination expired without me realizing.  Sigh.

I want things to start looking up.  I mean it.  I am getting very fed up with this snarr.

Are you listening universe? 

Sigh.  Probably not.

Finally, my final French exam is over.  This one was the written version, and now on the other side of this, I am very very glad I was too sick to take this one as the first one like it was originally scheduled.  The reading one first gave me confidence, the oral made me feel like, hey I'm not too shabby at this, and this one, well, I have a headache lurking in my frontal lobe and a full day's work to do in 4 hours.  Thankfully tomorrow is my compressed day.

So, how did I do?  I don't know.  I'll find out tomorrow or Monday I guess.  I did finish all 80 questions, and with about 10 minutes to spare.  I could have used that time to go over my answers, but like with the reading one, my feeling was that my first gut feeling answer is usually right and any that I struggled over, going back isn't going to help.  So now I have no illusions that I will be a C on this one, but I do have high hopes I'll be a B level, which is fine.

Did you see the nice blood red eclipse full moon?  Pretty cool eh?  It was too cold last night for me to stand out watching it, but I did go out for a couple of minutes to see it. 

Now for the weekend.  My immediate plans are:  do the building cleaning as usual (and it's garbage night so a little longer), then, come home, turn on computer, flip around channels on the t.v., pour a glass of wine, and RELAX.  Tomorrow I hope to get the annoying groaning sound I get when I turn fixed (I read that it likely needs a lube or something like that) and I would like them to check the engine belts since there is one that is singing.  Might need belt dressing, might need replacement.  Hard to say.  Then, Saturday, thinking of doing the family yoga.  Perhaps a visit with Robert who is back in Canada?  Sunday, the ranch thing for the Autism group which will be great, love these outings.  Then, my Sunday builidng cleaning and the week begins again.  Also in this mix will be working on my university course some more (it's a lot of reading actually), and also trying to straighten out the mess in the living room.  Oh, and rig up better dog gates for the cats so they can come and go at will without being following by the dog.

Dog still needs to learn some manners.

Little guy, on the other hand, had a fabulous time skiing yesterday, and I can't thank Jim enough for taking the whole day and rearranging stuff with his boss so that he could go with little guy.  This was important, the school wasn't going to let him go if one of us wasn't there with him. Not a problem though, this fellow adores skiing, seems to take to it naturally so I will be looking into more lessons (mostly for me, lol, so I can join him) and equipment sales with a view of doing this seriously next year.   (lol, there's no skis of any kind in smilies so I picked this - that could be jassper pulling hee hee)

Oh, and there's a PG-4 position coming open in Moncton.  It is so very tempting to apply....hmm....need to think this one over a wee bit.  Wish this was coming open next year, I'd be applying for sure.  Oh well.  Maybe I will just to get on the list of PG 4s in the Atlantic region.  We'll see.  I'm too brain fried today to really think this one out.

À bientôt!

Cathi

 

 

 

So Valentine's Day wasn't all it was cracked up to be, since I woke up with a splitting headache.  I blame it on the stress of the French oral exam, but really I have a bunch of things weighing heavily on my shoulders.  I went back to bed, then later got up for a nice brunch a deux with Jim prior to joining him on his excursion of taking Moe to the vet's.  I did wake up to a very nice stuffed dragon with a heart in his hands (and on the tip of his tail) that was sitting on a heart shaped box of cherry chocolate kisses that was nice .

You see, Moe has been sneezing like crazy the last few days, lazing around not his usual perky self, and I even saw him with tears in his little eyes.  Poor thing.   Well, good news for Moe, it was just a cold so no pills needed, but bad news for Moe he's overdue on some shots and at 17 3/4 pounds is overweight so he will be getting needles in the future (also to be joined by Domino who is also overdue for shots) and they are now back to being sure they get only one cup of dry food each a day.  The endless bowl has to stop, unfortunately.  I'm glad they don't like people food, that would be a whole other issue if they did.  Moe was back strutting his stuff and trotting dangerously around the dog last night so I think just the going to the vets was enough for him to think, okay, better stop playing flop cat and be myself again.

Nothing says love like doing the janitorial stuff (including the garbage for the building) together.  LOL, yes we did that too.  No special dinner for us last night, but I did get chocolates for Jim and little guy to enjoy.  Then, just as I was about to go have a bath, a conversation with someone that had me in tears, mainly because it reminded me of the fact that I will forever be paying for trying to be nice, and by paying I mean emotionally.  I've missed a lot of a special person's life, and I'm likely not going to have a chance to ever be what I should be again, and that really really hurts.  But what can you do.  Choices are made, and if the whole world will never understand why I've done some of the things that I have, even though it was for the best, well, I guess I have to gritt my teeth and bare it.  Other people have much heavier burdens on their hearts than I do.  I guess I just don't like when it is thrown in my face how people feel about me, but yeah, that's life.  Anyway, that kind of ruined the night for me and poor Jim was left trying to understand why I was crying and me not wanting to say anything right away, I just went to my bath and let the water soothe me.  Didn't help much.  I'm glad it's the weekend, I just want to sleep for a month.  My headache came back and is now in "under control" mode with ibuprofen, and I do plan to zonk out when I get home.

As for my French oral exam?  I got my B level.  That means I'm bilingual, though not in a fully fluent can do and say anything level (that's a C) but bilingual enough to take on bilingual jobs if I see one I'm interested in.  Next up is my written exam (grammar) next week.  If it's a B, then I'll stay happily at a BBB level.  If it's a C, then I'll rewrite my comprehension one and try to get CBC.  I'm guessing it'll be a B though.  And that would be just fine.  At this point I am so burned out from trying to do everything that I don't want any more of this for a while.  I just want to work on my university course and do a little on my books.

C'est tous.  Oh, and hopefully try not to let ghosts from my past make me cry anymore.  Ce n'est pas simple, mais, qu'est-ce je doit faire?  C'est comme il est.

 

The dog has given up on me, he is asleep on the floor. Last night, in the beautiful quiet snow, me having given up on any more studying for my oral French exam, took le chion noir qui viens d'Aylmer and answers to French commands better than English (and you know, I'm really enjoying that, honestly) we went for a walk and the silence and snow covering ice, well, dog wanted down the street, went faster, I ran and we jogged together and I laughed, and thought, yeah, this is what this is all about. I've lost 14 pounds between the dog, the cleaning offices at night, and the stress of a bunch of things and at this point in time, that's good. I am perfect at 128 pounds. That's like 24 pounds to go. Realistically, when I get to about 145 (9 pounds) I am happily back in normal weight and that's fine. Not that I've been that much into heavy that doctors are worried, but I'm somebody that has spent the better part of my life on the edge of underweight simply due to my metabolism (I've never been on a diet, seriously) to be overweight was freaky. To have found the happy combination for me: yay! I'm beginning to love seeing how I look again and that is so nice. Spirits that be: I promise I won't take it for granted again, okay? No more extra weight please. Merci beaucoup.

For me, I'm busy doing studying for my French exams, after a year of part time study. A huge part of me just wants this over with, another part will miss the fun studying part, another, the people I got to know, but finally, I just want to get on with life. That's me. I'm an Aries. I've done two exams. One, comprehension - 1 point less than level C (which is fluent, and, which I had before). If I get another C I'll rewrite this. I slipped up somewhere is why I got this. Oral: had exam today. B, or C? Don't know. Honestly. Written: next week, let you know. On the other hand, doing reporting for fun has been very much that. Check this out:

So yeah, more later,

Cathi

So I'm feeling a little better right now, after what was a brutal week in many ways.  It started off with me extremely sick with a fever - it's been years something has hit me that hard; I couldn't even make it downstairs at all on Sunday with just enough energy to rush to the bathroom and crawl back into bed.  Anyway, come Wednesday I was back at work, a little shaky and tired but there none the less.  I had missed the first of my 3 exams, I had missed two hours of one-on-one practice for my oral exam, and I had so very much work that I had fully intented to be back at full speed ahead and wasn't.  I was able to do a tiny bit of work from home on Tuesday but not much, I knew if I tried I would have less energy the next day so I rested instead.  This worked fine because little guy, after coming home from school on Monday tired and upset, wound up going to bed feeling sick with a fever.  That would be the end of the school week for him, for Friday when he was finally feeling better was also a PD day.

Friday I had taken off, due to PD day and prior Jim commitments, and good thing too because this was a day a big storm hit.  Now had I been working I would have gone in and got there fine because the snow didn't start until around noon, but coming home would have been a slog.  But I wasn't so that was fine.  Instead I took the opportunity to get an oil change and have the car looked at for what was becoming an obviously loud exhaust system.  Worried this was going to cost a fortune, a call at noon reassured me that the work was done, it was a leaky gasket now nicely fixed and the car is considerably quieter.  For around $75 that was great.  I also had had a situation at work where I simply had to bear my soul on a disappointment and a dream, and in all it was a realization that my studies aren't really appreciated where I am (in the big sense, not the people I work with, they do appreciate me) and so yes, I need to look elsewhere eventually, and maybe that's what I'm meant to do.  With that in mind I chose to spend some of Friday like I did on Tuesday, happily reading my university course immersed in the pleasure of learning for my own sake, no one else's.

Today we went to the Health, Mind and Spirit show in Renfrew and that was great, I'm glad we went.  I got an Angelic Reiki energy session and for $10 it was well worth the visit.  I feel much more calm now.  I won't go into what it was about except that I do have issues from things from past lives creeping into this one, and it was very interesting clearing negative and unnecessary karmic stuff.  One thing to remember that is really important for me, and this is in relation to spiritual things:  there are many roads to home (heaven) and all are valid, there is no one right way.  I liked that!

Oh, and I pulled a spirit totem and got Bear, which really did describe me right now.  Jim got the Unicorn, little guy, the Griffin.

Well, on to more exams and stuff. 

 

 

Just flexing my German mind muscles.  Badly I might add.  Anyway, it's a weird weather day but at least I am finally at work.  You see, my last week ended with my usual compressed day on Friday and me ostensibly studying though not much because I was so very tired.  I have literally piles of work on my desk and I simply can't think for all the work.  It has also made it hard to concentrate on my French. 

Saturday was a yoga class that is a trial thing for families with ASD kids; a wonderful idea, it involves a class set up specially for these kids and their families to come and do yoga.  This is great because more than anything they need help with relaxing their muscles and they need exercise activities that allow them to improve at their own rate, not in a competitive environment.  Little guy and I went and we loved it.  Then, for him it was a sleep over at a friend's house while Jim and I did our cable t.v. shoot that was like a "most Haunted" at the Arnprior museum.  It was neat but not too much activity other than a few orbs and mysterious cold spots.  Still, it was fun and good for an initial attempt at a paranormal investigation.  I also did my first tv hosting thing where I introduced the guests and explained a little about the museum.  Whether any of that gets used at all is anyone's guess but hey, how often do you get to play tv reporter lady?  Our evening ended at a respectible 1:30 am and that was fine.

Sunday, 7:30 a.m. I awoke with the feeling of a rubber band tightening around my waist.  Shaking, I ran to the bathroom.  I haven't been that sick in years, I'm just not a queasy stomach person!  I was so sick in fact that I wound up with a fever of 102.5 (F, though it felt like C) and literally couldn't go beyond the bedroom and bathroom all day.  Monday was a fever of 101 and the brave return to the ground floor where I slept on the couch.  It was also the call from the school at 2:50 asking me to get my son because he was having issues and was now holed up in a room.  Now, we had arranged for his developmental worker to go get him that day because Jim was in a meeting 50 km away and I was supposed to be at the office taking my written French exam.  The exam part I didn't do, obviously, since I didn't think they wanted me throwing up on the computer.    Still, I was in no shape to be anywhere so the arrangement for the pick up at school made sense to leave it as it was.  No, the lady told me, it has to be you that picks him up and if not what about someone else.  I told her we had someone else coming and she was all worried that this would be okay for this other person to get him and really wanted me there anyway, even after I told her by the time I got dressed and got there the person who was supposed to be there would be.  She insisted so I went.  Yes, our person was there, and interestingly enough, the story she got was that they made sure with me it was okay for her and not me to deal with this.  Weird.  After a bit of an odd discussion that had me thinking the person I was talking was inferring he was just being stubborn (autistic people "dial out" when things get too much and become uncommunicative - does he understand what's said to him?  Who knows and it's moot because he is incapable of doing anything when his wires have shortcircuited).  Ah well, the end result was him going home with me and all of us napping on assorted living room furniture for the rest of the evening.

Tuesday was 100 and going down, able to eat, but son was sick.  I did some of my university course and finally handed in something!  Today I felt okay enought to come in.  Little guy is still sick, but that's fine, this bug is just plain nasty.  Nature's little way of saying you damn well will relax and slow down!

On the bright side, with all the dog walking I'm doing I am finally making a decent dent in the quitting smoking weight I put on.  I think I've lost 14 pounds and am now 5 pounds shy of being within normal again!  Yippee!  Of course for me, up until that time I've always been either underweight to close to it (naturally, that's my metabolism, I don't gain weight easily but I couldn't stop putting things in my mouth when I quit smoking), so that is still not my "me" comfortable weight.  I'd need to lose another 10 pounds to be back where I was when I was smoking believe it or not.  Ah well, not impossible with this feisty dog we have.

So that's it for me, and just letting people know I'm back to my usual ridiculously busy self, but not sad any more.